Bring me back a dog*

Matt's decided we are getting a dog when we get back from America. Mainly so he can watch it swimming and train it to run alongside his bike. Sounds fair enough. I'd like a dog because they are cuddly, and you don't look like a perve when you are in the park.

So it has to be:
Soft as they come in both touch and in temperament.
Medium to small, as we have a small house.
Not a working dog, for above reason.
A long nose for snuffling.
Eyebrows for raising at us.
A cute head for cocking to one side whilst raising eyebrows.
Not barky.

I like Cavalier King Charles Spaniels, or little black dogs. Dogs with permed ears and funny little feet.

I don't like anything that looks like you should be applying talc to yourself with it.
Yappy, barrel bodied dogs.
Anything in a handbag once its fully grown.
Ones that look like Gizmo from Gremlins.
Ones with heads like bricks.
Anything which might feature on a tattoo of a BNP member.

Matt likes:
Dogs.

We thought about a Beagle, but we don't like smoking in the house** and apparently you can't let them off the lead very often as they are easily distracted. (sounds like me)

So any suggestions?


*Clever IAMX song reference.
** Below the belt animal testing reference, shame on me.